I posted a status on FaceBook that got some very interesting responses.

If you are on Facebook I’m sure you’ll agree that Facebook in its self is a rather fascinating ‘place’ or phenomena.

Originally, when certain people tried to get me on FB, I was resistant and now I have many thousands of  ‘friends’. However, the question I have is do our FB ‘friends’ really know us? Do they even care about who we are, what matters to us, or even what we do?

When I posed the original question on FB so many of my  FB ‘friends’ shared wonderful kind words that touched my heart. I am so grateful to those who replied to my FB status question… I feel enormously honoured to be seen by you all and I deeply value our relationship. What was fascinating was that there were many people who I feel I know well who did not write anything, (of course they may never have seen my question). Just as surprising were all the wonderful comments I got from people I did not even know.

Many years ago I gave a presentation on: “Friends, when to hold them, when to fold them.” I like to share with you a portion of that presentation and you can let me know what you think and feel.

We have all heard people speak of ‘fair weather friends’. These are the people who are your friend in good times…

It is said that when you hit hard times ‘fair weather friends’ will move out faster than bugs from a burning mattress. Clearly it makes sense that if a friend is only there for the good times this isn’t much of a friend.

What I want to share with you are some other kinds of friends you may want to pay attention to, in particular ‘bad weather friends’. I know you’ve been told that real friends will stick with you in times of trouble, and although that is true there is a certain type of friend who is only really there for you in your bad times.

You can probably remember a time when you were in a crappy relationship and this particular friend was right there for you. They told you that s/he is a fool to let you go.  Or maybe you can remember a time when you were in serious financial ‘doo-doo’, and that certain friend was once again, right there for you, telling you that ‘they’ just don’t see your talents and skills. 

In fact the worse things get the closer this kind of friend is. I can almost hear you say; “well what’s wrong with that?”

It’s not that there is something wrong with it, in fact I would agree that a ‘real friend’ would be there for you in such times.  As much as I highly suggest that you be in full gratitude for those who are genuinely there for you in such times of challenge. That being said; we may want to examine this kind of relationship with at least the same level of inquiry as that of a ‘fair weather friend’.

In the case of a ‘fair weather friend’ it’s pretty easy to see why the person is your friend, but have you ever considered why a ‘bad weather friend’ might be hanging out? Just as you might notice a ‘fair weather friend’ fade into the distance during tough times, a ‘bad weather friend’ will disappear during the good times, (particularly if the good times last).

At this point you may be wondering why a ‘bad weather friend’ would go away in good times, well the answer may surprise you. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying:

Misery Loves Company!

There will always be these type of people in your life because at either a conscious or unconscious level they find that you being in the crapper allows them to feel better about themselves.

A ‘bad weather friend’ is incredibly supportive when you are down however, when you are up, you are seen as a threat. They may even use the kind of language that will tell you what kind of friend they really are.  If they say:  “when you become successful, find a lover, get promoted, (or any other kind of status change) you won’t want to be around me anymore.” This is the language of a ‘bad weather friend’.

Good friends, real friends, are there for you in both the good and the bad times. When things are tough they will hold you and tell you what’s great about you. However, when you are wallowing they will kick your ass to get you going if that’s what it takes. This same good friend will be overjoyed for your success in any given area. They want the best for you even if it means that for you to be truly happy and fulfilled they could lose out.

Real friends want you to become all that you are at that soulful level of fulfilling your potential.

A real friend would rather walk away than support you playing small.

A real friend will lift you up so that you can describe the view ahead and in turn inspire them to go to the next level.

I said earlier that Misery Loves Company, well so does Joy! So…

Get yourself around those who are playing big in all areas, especially joy!

I am a blessed man in more ways than I can say here. However, one way I know this for certain is I am surrounded by “Real Friends”. Some I have known for years, some I have known for moments. Some are blood family, some are spiritual family. Some I have hugged and kissed with deep affection, some I know only via the electronic world of this blog, our members site at ResonanceCity.com, and some even through FaceBook , Twitter and YouTube.

However, we know each other, I thank you for being more than a ‘fair weather friend’ or a ‘bad weather friend’.

I am deeply grateful for each of you who lift me up upon your shoulders to shine a light out into the world.

Thank you for celebrating my success, and telling everyone you know about what I teach.

I look forward to your feedback

With gratitude,

P.S. Have you heard “The Accidental Guru” Radio Show yet? I’m your host every Friday Morning from 11AM-12 noon (PST) Details are at: http://radiodov.com

P.S. I deep enjoyed the FaceBook responses, so I  have copied my question and some of the responses below as I thought you’d enjoy the wise and sometime funny insights:

My Question: Are we friends? If you do consider me a friend, please tell me why that is.

• Alexander Kozupytsya
  I heard a lot of good things about you plus you like Tom Jones! They say you’re the new Anthony Robbins….the self help buffs!

• Danielle-Nicole Lareau
  Because..you are me..and I like who you are..pure love and compassion my friend…ciao for now Dani

• Andrea Lachner.  Facebook (and My Space and Twitter LOL) has opened a whole new world to us – we can become ‘friends’ with people we’ve never met (and possibly never will meet) in person. Not to mention people in completely different time zones. Why do I become ‘friends’ with someone like you? Because you are inspiring!!! And I am always keen to read what you have for us to read & think about.
  I have learnt along the way that there are many different type of friends in our lives. There’s the ones that will always be in your life no matter where in the world we each end up. There are the ones that are friends to you only when they need you or when you yourself need them. Which is a paradox to the saying that some people are your friends only in the good times – yup, I know of people that are only your friend in bad times – weird huh? But nevertheless, every person we meet (in person or these days in cyberspace) has something to offer to our lives in some way or another.
  The word ‘friend’ has many more meanings and levels to it than just one or 2 words
  My 2 cents worth this early in the morning (for me) LOL…
  Love and light XX… Read More

• Krystal Pine
  I love you Dov because you are kind and considerate, but also, you have a backbone and stand up for the truth, you are gentle and honest.

• Rosally Saltsman
  Yes. A friend is someone you trust, who possesses qualities you admire, who shares things in common with you and with whom you feel an emotional or spiritual chemistry. A friend is someone whom you feel you can grow through or with and help them to grow as well. It isn’t unusual in today’s technology or higher spiritual awareness to have friends you’ve never met. It’s just hard to have friends you never see.

• Kim Dushinski… Yes, I consider you a friend because you have gone dog walking with me more times than you know. (Via my MP3 player, of course).

• Natalie Gibson
  Because you are who you are and you’re not afraid to show it, because you’re continually pushing your own growth at an exponential rate, because you are profoundly integral with yourself and with others, because you don’t bullshit me with social nice disease and because we laugh and have fun together. simple, really.

• Naseem Rahman
  We are born into our families and we are related to them by blood. Yet, there are some people who enter our lives for a reason and they become a part of our family, leaving a lasting impression on our lives. You are one such person in my life, Dov. You are my friend, my mentor,my guide and the voice of reason for me when the chips are down & I … feel cornered in a dark place. You are God’s gift to this universe, making it a better place to live. May the light of your enlightenment spread to places afar …You are simply the BEST….with Love Naseem

Would you be offended if someone gave you ‘the finger’?  Maybe you’re saying;”of course !” Well, imagine that you live on a small isolated island, Isla de Pascua (an island in the South Pacific ), do you think the finger would be offensive there?  Likely not.

Okay, what if you were a tourist from North America visiting that small isolated island and everyone you passed gave you ‘the finger’ and smiled while they were doing it? Do you think you’d still be offended?  My guess is still, yes, right?  Now, what if you suddenly discovered that on this island ‘the finger’ means ‘good morning’ , (by the way this is theoretical).  Do you think the level of offense would go down considerably?  Of course, it would.  It might take some getting used to, but within a fairly short period you would smile as you received the greeting.

We assign the meaning of something to the meaning we have given it, even if that meaning is limited or even incorrect.

What’s more, we also assume that the meaning is not only our own, but somewhat universal, or ‘common knowledge’.

How many times do you think you have had the experience of struggling with something that at some level you just knew should be so easy? You read everything you could, you got help from friends, and you practiced it over and over and still couldn’t get it.  Then, just as you are ready to give up , just as you are about to give up on ‘it’ or yourself , someone hands you exactly what you needed, the equation makes sense, and it all falls into place.

Do you remember one of those times? Do you remember how frustrating that can be?
Good, now that you’ve got that clear in your mind, think about this…

Do you ever remember trying to explain something to someone, who’s just not getting it? You tried showing them in as many different ways as you can but they are just not getting it. You may even have told a friend or family member how frustrated you are and that “it’s common knowledge , why can’t they get it?”

Do you also realize that the thing you were once frustrated at trying to learn or understand is now something that you take for granted?

What you may not have previously thought about is, there is a tipping-point in knowledge ; it’s the point where we go from knowing the thing we wanted to know, to now knowing it unconsciously. In other words, we know it without having to think about it.  It’s at this point where the ego-mind can make a grab for the knowledge and claim it as ‘common knowledge’.  If the ego-mind grabs the info it will have you thinking that there is something wrong with someone for not knowing what you know .  However, please remember this…

‘common knowledge’ means it’s common to you.

Coming back to that moment when you went from complete frustration and wanting to give-up on mastering ‘it’ and then you are handed the exact formula you need and everything clicks into place, you see it all so clearly and you feel the relief.

Maybe you’ve had that feeling when it comes to manifesting?

As a sidebar, I wanted to let you know that for a little while longer I will be making something available to you that will take you across the tipping-point of knowledge when it comes to manifesting , knowledge that will make it all fall into place .

I’m giving you a 5 FREE video course into some of the most overlooked ingredients of successful manifestation.

Thousands of people like you have already had the opportunity to see these lessons and left some very enlightening comments. I cannot guarantee that I will be able to continue to give this course away for free for much longer.

So please help yourself and feel free to forward the link to your friends who also may want to know more about successful manifestation . To take a look and register to receive these lessons go over to www.EquationForManifestation.com

Again, they’re FREE!

I look forward to your feedback, and remember to be patient with yourself about learning when you receive exactly what you need, and it will all fall into place.

Until next time, live with courage, Dov…

P.S. If you have enjoyed this article please feel free to fill in the: Notify Me About New Blog Posts block on the top left of this page. Hey and why not tell your friends about this blog as there are lots of free and valuable resources right here.

As we begin this new year I have a very interesting question for you to ponder….

What will it take to become the person you “really” are underneath your conditioned limitations?

I ask you that question because it was a question I have needed to ask myself at different points in my life, points  where I was feeling stuck and the voice in my head was saying not to take a risk because: “I couldn’t make it, ask for it, afford it, etc.

There comes a point where we have to decide if we will give into the voice that is so often echoes the voices of family, “friends“, the media and even the government. I had to decide if I would do what it took, because like my inspiration Martin Luther King Jr I have a dream that is bigger than the conditioning I received.

To become the man, teacher, human being I aspired to be I realized I would have to not only dream but I would have to learn how to turn the dreams into reality. For that to happen, I have had to learn to become what my friend and vocal coach Arthur Joseph calls a “practical dreamer”.

I realized I must be the example of someone who didn’t merely dream or fantasize about what I want in my life, but strive to make ‘the dream’ come true and in doing so, show others how to fulfill their dreams and to make them “real.”

In order to do this the next question is:

What are you ‘committed’ to learn in order to fulfill your dream, to make it real?

That leads us to ask:

What opportunities can ‘they’ not see that you know you must follow NOW?

You can be certain of this: To get to your dreams you must be willing to do what others will not do, be what others dare not be and take risks that the fearful will call foolish.

Remember in the free video Resonating Riches Course I gave you: The fourth foundation was: The Resonance of Confidence.

On your journey I wish you the courage to manage your risk to do what ‘you MUST do’, and the courage to take the risks to “Dream the Possible Dream,” that ‘they’ say is impossible.

I challenge you to risk more than Others believe is Safe, Care more than Others think is Wise,

Dream more than Others think is Practical.  Expect more than Others think is Possible!

I look forward to your feedback. With Gratitude I say: Manage your fears by becoming a practical dreamer.  Dov…

I know that many of you who read my articles don’t live in the US and for many, where you live there is no such holiday as ‘Thanksgiving‘. However, where ever you are I am sending you my gratitude.

I know this article is a bit longer than usual but I think you will see that by investing a few minutes to read will prove well worth your time.

No matter what country we live in, right now let me ask you this:  

How much time do you spend in genuine gratitude?

On a daily basis most people you are bombarded: There seems to be a million new things to do every day and so you try and catch a little down time.  Maybe you turn on the telly only to once again be assaulted with the doom and gloom of what we are told is a failing economy.

Most of the time, most people run around like chickens with their heads cut off doing more and more, feeling less and less connected to themselves or anyone else. The result is that most people are running on empty!

In a crazy hectic world what can we do to fill up a little?

Right now let me challenge you to STOP and take a moment to become aware of the blessings in your life.

There is a wonderful ‘new’ movement of interest in manifestation.

Perhaps you have read about it in my books or have heard me talk about it either at a workshop or in a tele-program: Quantum Resonance energy is the necessary ingredient for manifestation.

Well, one of the most powerful quantum energies for manifestation is gratitude. 

Now please pay attention; by gratitude I mean genuine heartfelt, preferably eyeball-to-eyeball or at least heart-to-heart connection. In other words, delivered with real meaning rather than some perfunctory…”thanks”.

We live in a time of pusuing more and more, and there is nothing wrong with wanting more of your heart’s desires. 

However, recognizing what you have and genuinely appreciating it does not have to be built around the complacency of; ‘I don’t have the right to ask for more, I’m so much better off than those less fortunate’.

Think of all the things that go by each day that can so easily get taken for granted; the smile on a child’s face as they say ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ to you.

Getting a call from your partner, friend, sibling, or family member to genuinely ask how you are doing. Being able to breath, smelling the flowers or even coffee. How about, having the strength to do what you need to and desire to do.  Or knowing there is someone, somewhere who loves you.  Receiving kindness, whether it was a smile, food, a kind word, a gentle kiss, or even this article.

I’ve been speaking around the world to thousands of people for many years now and I want to stop and say:

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for you… Yes you!

You see I have a dream…

My dream is to raise consciousness. Now you may be saying; ‘what the heck does that mean’? Raising consciousness means being able to assist people all over the world in knowing that they are truly powerful, that you have the power to create the life that your heart and soul cries out for.

I am truly grateful to you because through you I get to live my dream, my purpose, my mission. You, my friends, spiritual family, students and unstopable team are the fuel that moves me forward. I know that I am the voice of something bigger than myself and you carry that voice to the world and in so doing, share in my mission, my dream, my purpose.  I am truly grateful because maybe, just maybe, I have had some influence in waking up your soul, in inspiring your heart, in letting you know you are truly magnificent!

I am grateful to you…You, who are committed to growth. You, who are no longer willing to settle for mediocrity. You, who stand up and fight to be free, even from the prison of your mind.

I believe that the education we offer at Baron Mastery Institute is a way out of the mental emotional jails we can lock ourselves in.

Thank you for inspiring me with your feedback, emails, phone calls, testimonials, courage, vulnerability and your stories of how your life has changed using the skills, tools and knowledge you received.

I love taking the time to read and hear them all. They are all fuel in my tank to keep going.

Your support keeps me going, keeps me believing we can raise the consciousness of this magnificent planet.

Thank you to my beloved bride, best friend and partner, the sweetness in my life and my guru of kindness, my inspiration: Renuka.

Each day I am grateful for her and for the work I did to clear my poop in order to attract this amazing woman into my life more than a decade ago.

Renuka, you are the light in my heart, my greatest inspiration and biggest supporter, you have held me when I could have been crushed and in that moment your love and strength kept me walking my path when I felt crippled…thank you!

I suggest that once a year: Take out your pen and journal and write a list of whom and what you are grateful for.

Once you have done that you can go and buy some thank you cards and write a note of gratitude, or at least send an email or make a phone call to these people. (I like cards because some people are uncomfortable taking in gratitude and nobody can interrupt or dismiss written words).

Someone said to me once ‘it must be wonderful to touch all these people’s lives’.  My reply was and still is that it is wonderful, however what is equally wonderful is that you touch mine just as much.

Thank you from the depths of everything I am and all I can become.

I look forward to meeting you for the first time or seeing you again soon.

         Remember, nothing can crush you unless you allow it…

       Hold on to your infinite strength that your soul possesses!

Your value far outweighs your circumstances.

With my love and sincere gratitude,

Dõv…

P.S. Leave me your comments in the comments box and If you found this message valuable, feel free to send it to a friend.

So with that, let me ask you a few questions; when it comes to your personal development: What do you really care about?

Is it your relationship with a “higher power.?’”

Is it your romantic relationship with a significant other?

Is it your family relationships, or relationships with friends?

Is it money, business and or abundance?

Is it overcoming fears?

Is it your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual health?

When it comes to your personal development: What do you really care about?

Here’s the second question: Why? Why do you really care about what it is you say you care about? (Hey, don’t be flip, put down your real answer not some crap you think you should write.) I want real answers from those who are willing to be real.

Number 3} How much are you willing to invest in that development on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis? We’re not just talking dollars we’re talking about time, energy, commitment.

Number 4} What do see is the #1 thing that is lacking in the Personal development/personal growth industry?

Number 5} What would you add to the industry that would really support you in your growth? And what would you be willing to invest in that on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis? (Again, we’re not just talking dollars we’re talking about time, energy, commitment.

I look forward to hearing your honest answers about Personal Growth and Personal Development. (If you don’t think you can answer each question, answer the ones you can.

See you soon. Dov…

You can hear the words coming out but all too often we’re not sure what any of it means.

What is the truth?

Is it the words someone’s mouth has formed or is it the ears that hear those words? Words can so often be lacking in communicating the real or deeper truth contained within them. In fact only seven percent of all communication is actually the words spoken. None the less that can be a very important seven percent!

It is always prudent to remember that there is no way that the mouth that speaks the words can guarantee that the words the ears hear are the same ones that were spoken.

If an individual ‘hates’ Bush or for that matter any other candidate, does it matter what that candidate says? Or will it always be heard through the filter of ‘hate’?

Some will tell you that ‘truth’ is spoken from the heart and although that is true, even words from that heart cannot pierce the walls of ignorance. Because even though ignorance has ears, its ears are ornamental and deaf to anything but the ‘truth’ the ignorant claims as reality.

What are lies?

Lies are the things we tell ourselves or others that cause pain; however they can also be the things we use to falsely protect ourselves or others.Maybe one of the saddest of lies is the lie between those who love each other. A lie for whatever reason that leaves one feeling betrayed is a lie that runs deep.

The only thing more saddening is the secondhand lie, a lie that is made up based on conclusions that don’t make sense in any other context than a sound byte. The second hand lie is the lie that accuses in the shadows and runs in the background like a thief in the night where it both steals trust and the opportunity for truth.

The secondhand lie makes fact of innuendo and often rips apart those who love each other. The secondhand lie is designed to undermine not only the accused but also those who believed in the accused.

There is in fact only one way to know the truth from a lie… it is to sit in front of the other speaking your truth with an open heart, and just as importantly to hear with ears connected to an equally open heart.

Sadly this is not possible, nor desired by those who busily and often unconsciously protect their ego with the knife of innuendo. People who truly care about each other communicate by speaking and listening with open hearts.

Those who will not do so think that they are protecting themselves from pain, while in fact all they do in the long run is inflict pain upon themselves as much as on others.

The highest agenda of the ego-mind is the need to be right and the ego-mind will sacrifice the truth and even love to protect its’ self.

When Obama, Clinton, McCain, Wright, Bush or even a friend speaks, pay attention not just to what you hear but also the context of what is being spoken. Words without context can be made to mean anything the editor decides, even if the sound byte editor is not in the studio but within your own ego-mind.

It is said that a fanatic will “die for a lie”: But is that really true or is it that they are willing to die for the truth they have made out of a lie?

Truth and Lies are held in the fine line not between right and wrong but instead between what is spoken and what is heard. Many great teachers have left us and in their passing the words they spoke from their hearts have been interpreted by the minds of others and as a result many beautiful truths have become distorted lies that are used for one person or group to control, judge or reject another.

We are not victims of the lies of others; we victimize ourselves when we refuse to understand that each man and each woman stand on the edge of the ground they know as their own truth. Because to paraphrase, (This is what I heard, it’s not necessarily what was said) what Pastor Jeremy Wright said in a press conference on April 28^th 2008, “both the captor and the captive are contained and restricted by the same system and neither are free”.

In every moment that ground of ‘truth’ is crumbling underneath the pressure of those who cling to the need to be right. Be careful how you judge your candidate, your friend, enemy, or anyone you meet. For as the Native American saying goes; unless you have walked a mile in his moccasins do not presume to know why anyone says or does anything.

It has been said that in all lies the truth can be found, but is it not also true that in all truth lies can be found, if that’s what you are looking for?

All meaning is subjective and each one of us has an ego-mind that holds very little claim to its own subjective meaning, because our ego-mind claims the subjective as the ‘truth’ it will both live and die for. The question returns; ‘will you die for a lie’? And maybe an even deeper question is: What will you kill with the subjective meaning you call the truth?

I leave you this time with the words of Paul Simon in the 1968 song, The Boxer: “a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”