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In my last article: “Promise to Be Normal” I stated that:
“Most people’s lives are nothing more than the realization of a promise they made to themselves.”
Come with me and let’s take this a little deeper…
These promises that we made to ourselves were, in all likelihood, “unconsciously” chosen and chances are you made them when you were very young.(Although as you read this you may have had a “light bulb moment” and realized exactly when you made your promise and why you did it).
My life has been dedicated to discovering, understanding and sharing with my friends and students how we create our reality. However, as much as we may want to jump on the Law of Attraction bandwagon for a quick fix solution for reality creation, what you may want to understand is this–most people are creating their realty at a very unconscious level.
In fact, for most people even the idea of “creating reality” becomes only vaguely conscious when something different shows up. When that happens, they quickly write it off to luck or fate and scramble around to get things back to “normal.”
Now there’s that fascinating word again: “Normal.”
For most people reading this you likely realize that normal is at least somewhat subjective. That means, what’s normal for you may not be normal at all for someone living on a different continent in a completely different culture…right?
Normal is relative to the individual. Church on Sunday morning is perfectly “normal” to a “born-again Christian” while, smoking crack on a Sunday morning is equally normal to a crack addict. What’s really interesting about all this is how we just love to judge people who don’t fall inside the realm of our version of “normal.”
However, “normal” goes much “Deeper” and the implications of holding onto your “normal” are vast! Without even knowing it, many individuals are unconsciously busy policing themselves and their reality to keep things normal. Again please note: the normal I’m speaking about is your own version of normal. It is the place you have become comfortable; it’s what you are used to. In fact, you may even feel a little threatened if something interferes with your normal.
You may have noticed that many of things we held as normal are disappearing. For instance, when I say normal some people automatically think of the suburban family with two point five kids, a white picket fence and a minivan. Let me be absolutely clear: the normal I am referring to has must greater implications, not only on how you see/judge others, but also on how much joy you experience.
You are probably already beginning to see that what I’m referring to is your own particular brand of normal.
Have you ever heard the saying:
“Situation Normal All F*%ked Up?”
Well for some people unless the situation is “all f*%ked up” it’s not normal, since that kind of situation is their own brand of ‘normal’…
That being said; here are a couple of challenging questions for you to bathe in for a while…
What have you made normal that might not be healthy?
What promise might you have made to yourself that without you realizing it, is in fact keeping your life pretty much the same as it was?
If you really want to dig deeper on this go and have a look at
If you really want to dig deeper on this go and have a look at http://DeepAuthenticSelf.com
I look forward to reading your feedback.
With gratitude,
P.S. Have you heard “The Accidental Guru” Radio Show yet? I’m your host every Friday Morning from 11AM-12 noon (PST) Details are at: http://radiodov.com


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“Leadership is about building fierce loyalty. Leadership is about courage. Leadership is about the willingness to make tough decisions. That’s what Full Monty Leadership is about and that’s what Dov Baron teaches. Dov knows his stuff and delivers it like a star!”
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Right on spot with the questions I’ve been challenging myself with…Walls (fear) keep me stuck – am pondering whether or not I am really F-E-E-L-I-N-G, especially the good things. Wondering if I allow myself to love, laugh, celebrate, joy, succeed or even have a crush on a guy really. My normal involves avoidance of pain… a lot. I am becoming more aware I’ve made distance when I am consistently disappointed. When I listen to good “feeling” songs, I’ll put them outside of my zone. Am afraid of the ‘good’ feelings because I am so tired of the ‘bad’ ones. Tired of the well grooved equations that run in my head and heart and worried that I’ll be stuck in the icky feelings. Am remembering to emotionally pivot more. Wondering if when I share me, I am reaching for the really good authentic stuff. Passion…where is it? Things I want are more in ‘yearning.’ Passion for dreams, passion for physical connection, passion for relating, passion for living. What am I waiting for? Why do I wait for an opening rather than just add Mary? How much auto pilot do I have on and in what parts of my life? What promises have I made about my life and to whom and why? Are they worth continuing to keep? Quality of questions I’m asking to myself are improving, many thanks for your continual challenges and insights. blessings, mary
Right on spot with the questions I've been challenging myself with…Walls (fear) keep me stuck – am pondering whether or not I am really F-E-E-L-I-N-G, especially the good things. Wondering if I allow myself to love, laugh, celebrate, joy, succeed or even have a crush on a guy really. My normal involves avoidance of pain… a lot. I am becoming more aware I’ve made distance when I am consistently disappointed. When I listen to good “feeling” songs, I’ll put them outside of my zone. Am afraid of the ‘good’ feelings because I am so tired of the ‘bad’ ones. Tired of the well grooved equations that run in my head and heart and worried that I’ll be stuck in the icky feelings. Am remembering to emotionally pivot more. Wondering if when I share me, I am reaching for the really good authentic stuff. Passion…where is it? Things I want are more in ‘yearning.’ Passion for dreams, passion for physical connection, passion for relating, passion for living. What am I waiting for? Why do I wait for an opening rather than just add Mary? How much auto pilot do I have on and in what parts of my life? What promises have I made about my life and to whom and why? Are they worth continuing to keep? Quality of questions I'm asking to myself are improving, many thanks for your continual challenges and insights. blessings, mary
Great points. It might be a great idea to write out a list of how we want our normal to look like and take small steps toward it.
Thanks Dov.
Nancy
Great points. It might be a great idea to write out a list of how we want our normal to look like and take small steps toward it.Thanks Dov.Nancy